You should! You should! You should!

Who says you should?

Have you ever had those words said to you? I have, lots of times, often from well meaning people who, well, mean well…

I’ve also said those words to those around me on numerous occasions but recently I’ve been trying not to – because I was becoming very much aware of how the words made me feel. and the impact they were having on my own mental health, well-being and confidence.

Nothing makes you feel more inadequate or you are not enough as that simple, often throw-away remark of “You should”

• You should write a blog (Yes, I’ve been guilty of that one)
• You should monetise your blog
• You should read this book
• You should go here on holiday
• You should wear this
• You should eat this
• You could turn that into a business (Yes, that’s one of mine too)
• You should this, you should that…

I’ve come to realise, through my own actions, and now recognise that it is more about the person saying the “You should” than it is about you. They are giving you a message about their own feelings, their own needs and desires. Maybe for validation purpose, maybe to prove themselves as an expert, maybe for confidence issues – there’s a lot of maybes, people do and say things for all sorts of reasons – maybe they think they are just helping you.

For the recipient of the “You should” often comes the feeling of peer pressure, torn between wanting to fit in but also wanting to go your own way

Monkey on your shoulder comes out to play too – thoughts in your head telling you that, well, if everyone is telling me I should be…. Then maybe I should be!

For a good while now, I have had someone saying that I can’t have a website and/or blog without doing this or that… I should be doing this, I should be doing that, all that happened was nothing, absolutely nothing.

I didn’t want to do it like they said I SHOULD be doing it, so, I didn’t do anything and I’ve been bloody miserable.

Well, No more I say – If I want a blog just for the sake of having a blog then I am going to bloody well do it!

And, I think you if you want to do something, or not do something as the case maybe then you go right ahead – You do you!

You won’t hear me saying “You should”

Muchly love

lee x