If I stopped to think about all the "What if's" and the "What will happen's" when it comes to the future I think I would go bonkers - Even allowing myself to think further than a few days ahead I feel the overwhelm, anxiety and, to be perfectly blunt, pure terror rush over me. It hits me at 3.00am EVERY Morning. Always. Sometimes I can tell myself to roll over and try to think of good things - other times I lie awake for hours upon hours and, finally, when I do fall back to sleep it is but a couple of hours of wretched, stomach churning, not quite asleep dreams that leave me feeling lost for the whole of the next day.